Yesterday, Joey Gomes, my mother-in-law, Peter Gomes III's mom died. She was the last of the grandparents.
Today, I am feeling confused. I don't remember the transition when the last of my grandparents died. It just seemed normal. We started having Christmas at my mom and dad's house instead of going to the grandparents.
It's a different perspective when you are the grandparent instead of the child or grandchild. It's a repositioning in my mind. It probably seems normal to my kids and grandkids but I'm having a hard time with " there is no one before me left". I know it's the normal process of life but when you realize the end is closer; in my mind it gets confusing.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Turning Over Leaves
Four years ago a leaf started to develop in my life. Today that leaf needs to be turned over. Today instead of driving to the dog park I walked. As I was walking the phrase "turning over a new leaf" came into my head. Why is it a new leaf? My leaf is four years old and needs to be turned over.
The next concept that developed was what kind of leaf is it?
There are stinging leaves that leave you in a little pain and with bumps and then the effects go away. This could apply. Which means after the stinging and bumps went away I would forget about turning it over.
There are leaves that have thorns and when you grab it to turn it over you get poked with the thorn and drop it.
There are leaves, as my grandson Peter found on Sunday, that are very soft and feel good and you just want to keep on feeling that softness. Why would anyone want to turn over that leaf?
Then I thought about the kind of leaves that are keepsakes, like four leaf clovers, I used to put them in a book to dry them for keeps.
I also saw dead leaves on my walk. They would probably crumble into pieces but they would make good mulch for the tree they came from.
My leaf is still stinging, still has thorns, is still soft , is still one I have put away between the pages of a book and will always be good mulch for the tree that it came from.
It was about four years ago that I gave up walking four miles a day to be with Ian. My family, siblings, children, nieces and nephews, and friends all stood beside him as he fought the battle. It is the most difficult death I have ever experienced. He just came up in conversation on Sunday night at our family gathering and it was Peter's friend Virgil who brought him up. He meant a great deal to a lot of people and though he had a lot of problems in his life he still had a huge affect on the people he came in contact with.
I have gained a considerable amount of weight because I stopped walking. I am to the point where I need to pick up the edge of that leaf to get it turned over.
The next concept that developed was what kind of leaf is it?
There are stinging leaves that leave you in a little pain and with bumps and then the effects go away. This could apply. Which means after the stinging and bumps went away I would forget about turning it over.
There are leaves that have thorns and when you grab it to turn it over you get poked with the thorn and drop it.
There are leaves, as my grandson Peter found on Sunday, that are very soft and feel good and you just want to keep on feeling that softness. Why would anyone want to turn over that leaf?
Then I thought about the kind of leaves that are keepsakes, like four leaf clovers, I used to put them in a book to dry them for keeps.
I also saw dead leaves on my walk. They would probably crumble into pieces but they would make good mulch for the tree they came from.
My leaf is still stinging, still has thorns, is still soft , is still one I have put away between the pages of a book and will always be good mulch for the tree that it came from.
It was about four years ago that I gave up walking four miles a day to be with Ian. My family, siblings, children, nieces and nephews, and friends all stood beside him as he fought the battle. It is the most difficult death I have ever experienced. He just came up in conversation on Sunday night at our family gathering and it was Peter's friend Virgil who brought him up. He meant a great deal to a lot of people and though he had a lot of problems in his life he still had a huge affect on the people he came in contact with.
I have gained a considerable amount of weight because I stopped walking. I am to the point where I need to pick up the edge of that leaf to get it turned over.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Poor God
Last night my daughter came over. We sat and discussed church history. After all she told me about Augustine and how his ideas were put into place and how writings from apostles were applied incorrectly and misunderstood my response was "poor God".
What is the core of what God wants us to know and believe? Probably about 20 years ago a missionary came to our church and said, "The definition of God is LOVE". It was an epiphany for me. It changed my world. It's so simple; what have we come to in this society?
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